November is always a time to reflect on the year for me. Think about the things I'm grateful for, and thank God for all that He's given me.
It's been hard lately to think about the things I'm grateful for when all I can think about is wanting my grandma back with us. I know it's selfish and I know that she was ready and wanting to go there at the end. I just miss her so terribly much. I didn't realize how much she was a part of my everyday, especially towards the end. I miss everything about her and probably will for a very long time. I kinda feel like I'm on auto pilot and just getting through the days barely. I've got to get out of this funk. How do you get over missing someone so much that it just seems to keep you down all the time? People say, "just give it time" but how much is too much time? Have I passed that time period? It hasn't been a month yet, maybe it gets a little easier each month that goes by...
There are 3 things that I am definitely thankful for ALL the time.1) My family. I have been truly blessed with an amazing family. I am lucky beyond words to be a part of such wonderful and different people that truly love each other and would be there anytime you needed them. My mom is one of my best friends, my sisters keep me young, and my nieces and nephews offer a world of love. Can't beat that! 2)I'm thankful for my husband. He is my heart and soul. He is patient, kind, understanding, loving beyond measure, and everything you want your partner for life to be. He keeps me centered, and knows me better than anyone in the world. 3)I'm thankful for my friends. Each person offers a different friendship and a different view. From my best friend down to a brand new pen pal, each one unique and offers something to my life.
Everyone has a different time period when it comes to grieving. I am still hurting real bad.....I say things and words that I got from Grams that tear me up. Its such a void...it hurts but I don't have the liberty to let the grief swallow me whole. So thankfully the chiclets keep me grounded. I would try to rebuild the routine you had before Gram got sick and just keep truckin'.I lubb ya more than words can say .....so grateful to be blessed with such a kind hearted sister who loves me unconditionally even if you don't always understand me. <3
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